Thelend's Journal 1st entry

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On joining the knighthood

27 harvest  2 655 a.s

Ihave just arrived to Hidroth Lea with my new companions after completing my quest within the ruins of Etimar. I suppose I ought to be excited, seeing as I am due to be knighted when I return to Mulborne. But that is not the case. Oh I am relieved that none of our party was slain in the den of the Minotaurs. And I hold a glimmer of hope that the silver key we now find ourselves in possession of will turn the tide of victory in our favor in the wars to the south. But the prospect of joining the ranks of the Order of the Ram fills me not with excitement, but dread.

The voices of my men call to me at night from the depths of Ondur. “Why did you leave us, why are you not among us now. Was it not you who led us here?” I have no answer for them. For I led my men to an ignoble end. I was neither strong nor wise enough to protect them from the Sect of Genocron. If justice had been done I would have died with my brothers there in the dark ruins. But Andunai has seen fit to preserve my life. Why? Does it please him to punish me with the shame of my defeat? For each night when I see the bewildered faces of my comrades wondering why their captain has deserted them I am filled with self loathing. I cannot look in their eyes, those questioning eyes that pierce my soul. Why am I still alive! Why couldn’t I have died with my men, Lord tell me I beg you!

There are no reasons that I can find, no answer from above. Perhaps I was not found worthy, perhaps life is to be my penance. I cannot say. I only know that I dread the thought of dawning the horned helm of my order. There was a time when I wanted nothing more than to join their noble ranks. But now I fear that I will only cast shame upon that which I love most. Lord Andunai, I do not know what strength remains in me, but I beseech you to supply me with the strength needed to do your will, whatever that may be. My life is forfeit to me, I render it now to you, that in living and dying in your service, it may be redeemed.





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Thelend's Journal 1st entry

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